Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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