Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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