This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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