2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
