we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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