u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
