You made me cry and you don't even care
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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