you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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