If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
