somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
