i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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