giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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