he wants to bone in the snuggie
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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