Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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