Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
