Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
