I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
