escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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