Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
