ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
