Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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