Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
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We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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