i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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