How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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