All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
