We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
