i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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