Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
