I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
