Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
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Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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