The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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