Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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