I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
