Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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