hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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