We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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