Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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