I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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