Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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