They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
