Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
