Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
