I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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