He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
