I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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