look no pants
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
