You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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