Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize