If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
