everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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