I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
