We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
