i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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