You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
