I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
