If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
