my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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