just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
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She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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