Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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