I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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