lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
