she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize