i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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