More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
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btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
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It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent