So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again